Are you stressed out? Have you noticed that when you are resentful, you become more sensitive to life’s little issues?
When you are stressed at work, do you come home and easily lose patience with your kids? Do you get angry at slow traffic or slow grocery lines? Would terms like “exasperated, nervous, irritated, or impatient” describe you?
If so, you are probably over-reacting. And the worst reaction of all is that of resentment. It sets you up for becoming increasingly sensitive to what you might otherwise take in stride.
Learn to calm down, stop getting upset, and start healing your relationships. Listen to my radio show about confident living and better relationships.
I know, times are tough. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said: “If you are not outraged, you are not paying attention.” There are indeed outrageous things happening. There are things that good citizens should pay attention to.
The problem is that most of us do not know how to pay attention without becoming upset by what we see. So we shut down.
But our most upset issues are with daily small irritations.
You've probably heard the expression "Don't sweat the small stuff." We know this is true, but the problem is we don't know how to not sweat the small stuff.
This is because we have literally conditioned ourselves to become irritated. And when the next little thing occurs, our body reacts.
.A small irritant to which we have reacted can literally build to the point that we're ready to have an emotional meltdown over it. Moreover, we react and suppress our emotions all day long, so there is an accumulation of upset and tension leading us to explode in anger at a loved one or reach for the bottle.
.Here is the key.
1. Learning to watch for and let go of resentment which sustains and reinforces our reaction. It was resentment that led to the very first reaction to a look alike situation long ago, and it is resentment that sustains it and reinforces it. The resentment must be let go of, whether it be resentment against the situation, the person, the first occurrence, oneself, or resentment against anything.
If you don't know how to get enough distance mentally to stand back and watch for the resentment, I can teach you how. Try the new Easy Meditation now. It is free.
2. As I will relate later, becoming upset is a way of life for most of us. So the second thing that must be learned is to practice going through life in a more detached way, as more of an observer. In my writings I can show you how and why this dispassionate state of mind and calm state way of living is based on principles of forgiveness and patience.
In fact, the reader will see that these principles correspond to beautiful religious or philosophical principles you may have heard and appreciated but never learned to to apply.
3. Some people do discover that their upset hinges on resentment, but they are unwilling to give it up. However, many people can understand where I'm coming from. They see their resentment and impatience and don't want to be that way, but don't know how to make the change. I can show you how.
The secret to regaining self control has to do with the timeless moment just before we react.
In that moment we have the freedom to make a choice between going with the resentment and all that follows, or to remain patient. Once we go ahead and resent or choose to indulge the judgment, then there is a due process that occurs, and the bodily stress responses take place, one after another.
Here at the Center For Common Sense Counseling I help people learn how to be aware without being upset. We all know that we need to calm down and be reasonable, but as soon as we react, we forget and lose control. It happens so fast. That is why our stillness meditation (which is free to listen to and download) is helpful.
In a nutshell, it shows you how to be still, and then carry a calm awareness out into your daily activities. Pre-armed with patience, you won't get caught unawares. And when the previously upsetting situation comes along, you can observe it instead of getting caught up in it.
When you are aware, you will have understanding. And when you are not resentful in the first place, you won’t become upset and irritable in the second place. You will be patient with your loved ones.
Learn the secret of self control without painful repression and you will have it made in the shade.
"Hi everyone, this is Roland
Need help with stress? Anxiety? Worry?
I just made a new Easy Meditation. It is quick and easy to learn. It is for busy people and it is also good for beginners.
The best part is that it is free.
And there is a free mobile app too!
Click here to try it free today.
Here is a little video I made about the easy meditation